Now that my children are fully grown, I am frequently asked by individuals who know my adult sons, "What did you do to get such Godly men?" I find it fascinating that in a world filled with so many variables, especially in the realm of human personality, we seek a cookie cutter or recipe approach to our parenting. Take a little prayer, a little discipline, a dash of kindness, stir in a firm hand, bake for 18 years and out of childhood come Godly adults, or something along those lines. Let's face it, each child is unique, each parent is unique and each family is unique, there is no one size fits all answer to raising Godly children. Even the best of parents have children go astray, just look at Adam and Eve, they had God as a parent. So with that said, let's explore parenting at another level. While there are differences, there are also similarities and some reasonable principles that should at least help parents move there kids in the right direction. One of those principles is called "guided discovery."
What is guided discovery? It is the art of getting your children to move from point A to point B by helping them think things through instead of just giving them an answer. In our family we made teaching our kids critical thinking skills one of our top priorities, followed very closing by leading them to the reasonable, logical, and rational beliefs of orthodox Christianity. Guided discovery combines thought process with practical experience.
What goes into guided discovery? At least four primary parts.
1. Create a sense of inquisitiveness. Watch life around you and bring it to your child's attention. Statements that start with "Did you notice...?" or "I wonder why...?" take a person's mind to areas of inquiry that it would not have gone on its own.
2. Foster a conscience of consequences. This is done by making comments to your kids such as, "Look at what happened because..." or "What do you think would happen if...?"
3. Challenge the assumed. An example: We frequently are told, "Perception is reality." Is that true? If it were true there would be no such thing as a mis-perception. How many parents have been confronted by a child saying, "That's not fair!" Really? Who or what determines if something is fair? Challenge your kid's assumptions. It's OK to say, "That's interesting, does that mean...?" or "Let's think about this. What is ...?"
4. See God in the details of life and point it out to your kids. I like to work with wood. Wood projects are a wonderful example to kids of the Gospel story. I take a piece of dead tree (wood), cut it, shape it, glue it, nail it, etc., and in the end the wood comes to life again with a purpose and meaning to it. A tree is sacrificed but out of that sacrifice comes life! Isn't that the Christian Gospel? Christ comes and sacrifices himself so the Holy Spirit can be imparted into our dead spirits and we become alive with meaning and purpose to our new life. That wood project then is a visual reminder to the child of the work of God in our lives. It becomes even more meaningful if the child helps you with the project. This is guided discovery at work. Thought process combined with practical experience.
Lastly, look to scripture for examples of how Jesus employed guided discovery with the apostles and disciples. He didn't always give them the answer, he made them think it through, no checking your brain at the doorway of Christianity.
Take some time and see where you can use guided discovery with your kids. Oh yes, it can work on other members of your family too.
